Words Women Use
by Beloved Dawn
Summary: Uh oh, the menfolk are in trouble. Wouldn't it be nice if women came with a guide book?


_Have any of you gotten that e-mail with the words women use? I thought that would make an interesting story. All of these are drabbles. There really isn't much of a timeline at all, except that Pluto's and Saturn's come way after the others, and Usagi's tentatively comes after Rei's. Otherwise for the most part they're organized in the same order as the e-mail was, with one exception. _

Fine: This is the word a woman uses when they are right and you need to shut up.

Jadeite was facing an impossible battle. "But honey, how was I supposed to know she was going to throw herself at me? I wasn't even flirting with her, I swear it! I was in the process of untangling her when you walked in! That was a confused expression I was wearing, I wasn't grinning! I promise!"

Rei glared dismissively at the pleading man before her. She was fuming, but also sick of this argument. She needed some girl time and ice cream. She flipped her hair and walked off, but not before throwing one terse word back at her lover.

"Fine."

*****

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that start with nothing usually end in 'fine'.

It had been a long day for Mina. She had been fully looking forward to getting home and relaxing in her beanie chair surrounded by all her pillows, stuffed animals, and manga. Instead, she found that Kunzite had used her absence to 'clean up'. Which also meant move her stuff out of her preferred arrangement.

She gave a loud sigh. This alerted Kunzite that she was home.

"Hey sweetie, I cleaned up today! About time, too."

He suddenly noticed her glower. "What's wrong, luv?"

She shook her head, irritated beyond belief, with her self control stretched to the limit. "Nothing."

*****

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!

Nephrite had been sleeping on the couch for a week, and was thoroughly sick of the kinked necks and sore backs. He still wasn't quite sure where he had gone wrong.

Sure he had gotten rid of some of her plants, but they really had too many of those. They got in the way of setting up a proper telescope.

He had been explaining that to her when they had gotten in an argument over nothing. She had finally ended it.

He could still remember her words and the hard tone of her voice when she said them.

"Fine. Go ahead."

*****

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot, and is wondering why she is standing here arguing with you over nothing (see above).

Hotaru was determined that everything would be perfect for Chibiusa's birthday party. Unfortunately, this meant she had to deal with said best friend's boyfriend, who was being beyond useless. He was actually making this task harder.

"...and that's why we should have green streamers and purple balloons. Makes perfect sense!"

"Chibiusa's favourite colour is pink, hence the fuchsia streamers and rose balloons. Deal with it. The party is pink."

"But she's always surrounded by pink. I think she'd like to see something different.

Hotaru released a long sigh. Her opponent didn't seem to notice, but Mina did, and quickly intervened.

*****

That's Okay: One of the most dangerous phrases a woman can say to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Zoicyte had spent a miserable week. And it was all her doing.

He did have the brains to figure out it was his fault, however.

Still, it was getting really annoying to have every cup of coffee he picked up turn freezing when he went to get a sip. It could be steaming when he raised it, he drank it cold.

That was nothing compared to the showers, though. At first he'd just thought the water heater was broken. Then he'd noticed the coffee.

It had all started when he'd accidentally dented her car. Though she had said "That's okay"....

*****

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint. Just say "You're welcome." (I want to add in a clause here- This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot."- This is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "You're welcome." That will bring on a 'whatever'.)

Usagi had been worried sick when she got to the school. Chibiusa wasn't there. She had immediately called Mamoru, and he had explained he'd picked her up today, so he could show her something neat he had seen.

He had thought it a good idea, but had forgotten to tell Usagi. She was not very happy with being scared like that. In fact, she was seriously considering strangling her husband. Maybe Rei still had some ice cream.

"Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome!" He had missed her sarcasm before, but could almost hear her rolling her eyes when she replied.

"Whatever."

*****

Whatever: A woman's way of saying "f*** you!"

Pluto did her job well. She had been doing it, after all, for far longer than the man in front of her had been alive, even counting his past life.

Still, for some unknown reason, King Endymion made the long trek to the time gate once a year to give her a "review".

"...so all in all we find your performance generally excellent, and we thank you for a job well done!" He was beaming when he finished. He apparently thought this was important.

Pluto continued gazing at the gate. He took it for job dedication. She knew better.

"Whatever."

*****

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if she's given you five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Haruka yelped as Michiru pulled her off the couch by her ear. "I said five minutes, and I meant only five minutes! Now get up! The trash needs to be taken out, and your car washed, and..."

Haruka trailed after her, rubbing her ear and muttering resentfully. "When you said five minutes yesterday, we were late for the movie. Now I'm in trouble because I wanted to watch the All Blacks trounce the Canadian team!"

Unfortunately, she had forgotten her lover's sharp hearing.

"What was that, Haruka?"

Haruka blanched, nervous. She was really in for it now.

"Uh, nothing, dear."

*****

Don't Worry About It, I Got It: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something the woman had told the man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will result in the man later asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's answer, see above.

"Hey Haruka, remember how I asked you to pick up milk for breakfast tomorrow on your way back from visiting the inners, after you forgot to do it after school and last night when we started running low?"

"Sorry dear, I forgot. I'll go do that right now."

"Don't worry about it, I got it."

Haruka assumed that meant all was well. She was therefore surprised to hear her lover banging things around it the kitchen. Hard.

"Hey, honey, you okay? What's wrong?"

Michiru came into the room long enough to give a very clipped reply that terrorized Haruka.

"Nothing."

* * *


End file.
